Monday, March 22, 2010

To Eat or not to Eat...


I'm a hungry girl let's face it, that's why I'm fat. *eh em*, I mean phat. I eat when I want to for whatever reason I want to.I even had a dream that I had a donut the other day. Is that funny or what? Maybe sad. lol. Now however, I'm learning to control this thing called "hunger" and it's hard as h - e - double hockey sticks. I realized today that I wanted to eat something until I stopped for a second to ask myself why? I wasn't hungry. I just think I like to chew.(Moooooo)

I've been on my program for a total of 9 weeks and I've lost 12.2 pounds. I'm excited and I can't wait until I reach my (1st) goal of 20 pounds by the end of April. But if I'm really honest with you and myself, I must say that loosing weight is getting a little scary. I think about gaining it all back, I think about not being able to afford new clothes and I think about people possibly hating on me. It all freaks me out a little. But, I need to get over it and quick because this is a good thing. I've spent many a years doing things for others and I am happy to say that I am taking some control of my life and finally doing something for me, unapologetically.

Anyway, I am continuing to enjoy the journey. The road gets rough, but I don't feel like giving up. I may feel like eating a double cheeseburger, fries and a milk shake but I'm choosing not to right now. I'm choosing life.