since my last post i've been on and off the wagon a few times to say the least.. lawd have mercy, this has been an uphill battle to say the least. i guess the good part to this (if there is a good part) i am NOT giving up. i will keep trying and keep striving to live a healthy long life (that includes weight loss).......i will. really.

Y Eye Wanna B Healthy...

A friend has been coaching me towards good health because losing weight and being healthy has been one of the BIGGEST struggles of my life. One thing he challenged me with last week was to lay of alcohol for six months. Once I "accepted" the challenge he then asked me "Why do you wanna be healthy?" Below is how I responded. (with a sprinkle of humor of course!)

1. I want to live a long life Although old age scares me, If I’m healthy, living a long life can prove to be fruitful. It would afford me the opportunity to see more of the world, try new experiences and have hot relations with young guys once my husband croaks.

2. I want to have children The female body goes thru a significant amount of changes when she's pregnant and gives birth, being healthy BEFORE I have children would not only put me in better position physically and mentally, but I will also pass along good eating and exercise habits to my children which will in turn effect generations well beyond my being on this earth.

3. I want to reverse current health conditions I believe that the body has the potential to heal itself of sickness and disease. Get on it!!! Be healed!!!

4. I want to feel good physically I would like to feel better physically and feel good about myself! I look good but I wanna look better… :) (if that’s even possible, I mean come on, look at me!!!)

5. Because it's just plain ole important that I honor my temple and not stuff it with a Twinkies and now and laters....

I guess the real struggle is, thinking about this list or at least one of the things on list when I am eating uncontrollably, or better yet, before I decide to eat something that is not going to get me closer to my goal. I don't want to be fat. I want to be healthy, yet I continue to make choices that go against what I want, and there comes a time in ones life, in my life where I must make the choice to live and to live healthy.

I've made that choice so many times though only to fall flat on my face and here I am AGAIN for the skatey-eighth time trying to get back on the wagon and boy is it hard. It sux as a matter of fact because I know I can "do it". For as many times that I fall off however, I will get back up and I guess that's a positive step in the right direction. *Deep sigh*

At My Own Pace

One thing I am beginning to realize is that this whole weight loss thing is my journey and I will and am going to lose weight at my own pace...

There are certain people (or person(s)) however who always seem to have an opinion about what I eat, how much I eat, how many calories I take in, how many calories I put out, about what they think I'm doing wrong or what they think I'm doing right, about the exercise I do, about the exercise I don't do and more.
Mind you, these same people (or person(s)) who have all the answers don't have their own health under control.

Anyway, I say all this to say that what people have to say is not really that important when it comes to me and my health. This is my body, my journey, and I will lose weight at my own pace.


Eating to Live
Sandy

To Finish off my Fatness

I started out determined. I knew I was going away to Nawlins for work for four days, then to Florida for a week to see my Grandmother and Mom and I worked out with a vengeance before I left so that if I decided to have beignets in N.O. I could do that and not feel bad. I had a plan to work out daily at the hotel and when I got to Florida to go to Golds Gym and to the Beach daily to keep the momentum going. Well, it didn't quite happen that way. I was off to a good start, even went to the $10 hotel gym twice but something happened. I started eating and I couldn't stop. Everyday I would wake up and tell myself that today was a new day only to discover myself (for the thousandth time) falling off the wagon.

How could this be? I just finished a month of eating well (about 1200-1500) and working out, and had lost 6 pounds. I felt good, looked good and knew that this was it, and now look at me... Back to square one... I don't even wanna get on the scale as I am very disappointed in myself. I mean, the good thing about it all is that I still have a fight in me and plan to get back on track this week but to to finish off my fatness (in other words, add insult to injury) I decided to stop at McDonald's and have an apple pie with vanilla ice cream. How incredibly sad that I had to give myself a good bye gift of sort. It didn't even make me feel better but I did it anyway.

What am I gonna do with myself....?

My Tummy Hurts. Pleeeeease Rub My Tummy...

About 10 years or so ago, I had this little teddy bear, and when I pushed it's tummy it would say different things... One of the things it used to say with a high pitched cute little kid voice was " My tummy hurts.... Pleeeeease rub my tummy." No matter how many times I pressed the tummy it would make me laugh. I say all this to say that, I feel like that little bear right now.

I'm at a friends house for Easter dinner and for the 1st time in weeks (or months) I had dessert. I am soooo not ready to have sweets, it made me feel yucky primarily because I STILL do not know boundaries. I ate to much and to be honest I really didn't even want it all that bad. I guess I shouldn't be looking at this as a temporary thing but rather something that I just need to take out of my diet. I don't like feeling like this. And to make things worse.... I am gonna have to do some extra workouts next week to get this crap off... This was so not a part of the plan. But! I will be good to myself, I won't beat myself up but I will learn from this experience. So again I say...My tummy hurts.... Pleeeeease rub my tummy.

Hungry and Tired

It's been three weeks since I started Barry's Boot Camp and after 18 workouts, I'm getting extremely tired and hungry... I'm at the point where I don't wanna workout and to be honest, I wanna eat eat eat. Well, I shared my struggle on Facebook the other day and got some great encouragement from Arnolda. She said:

"Sandy you have to get over the hump, this just means that your old body is transitioning to your new fit body and your old body is putting up a greater fight. If you can get over this hump and remember how hard it was to get here you will never be out of shape again."

...."When you start seeing results and how much stronger and happier you are both physically and emotionally, it will become your life mission to stay in shape. Rt now you have to stay the course and make that transition. There is a better lifestyle at the end of that work and you'll be glad you did. I promise..."

This is good news.... I will remember this when I am to tired and I wanna eat everything in site.

One Bag of Sugar....

It's been two weeks on my new workout and eating plan and I've lost 5 pounds = one bag of sugar.

I lost 4 pounds the 1st week and only 1 this past week (sucks) but I guess it's exciting to be loosing (and not gaining) right? Not sure what I'm gonna do different this week but rest assured I'm gonna work hard. It would be nice to be down 10 pounds by conference (April 21) In the meantime I will also work on being good to myself and being patient.

Be good to you
Sandy

Two Nights...

For the past two nights I've managed to eat dinner between 7pm-8pm and not eat anything (most likelyit would be sweet) afterwards. This is BIG for me. Really it is. I love to eat and I crave sweet in the evening more time any. Even though this is my umpteenth time back on the wagon, something is different this time, something is starting to sink in and I pray that it sinks in all the way to my core so I can live a happier, healthier life. I wanna find the thin within. That's all.

~Me

Aside from the Occasional of Soda...

So, the working out and the eating right at the same time have collided.... I love it! Aside from the occasional soda in the past few weeks I've done EXCELLENT! I recently started Barry's Boot Camp along with a six day calorie restricted "diet" (a really low calorie diet by the way). I'm not sure what's more challenging though, the boot camp style workout or the low calorie eating....Ummm, I pick both, lol!

I think I'm just excited about being able to work out my triceps without stopping and push ups too. I took all my measurements (hips, arms, waist, chest) and weighed in before I started and I look forward to the results. Rest assured, I will NOT post my before pictures. Not until I am CUT because I look a hot mess.... It's actaully quite comical cause I have the smallest butt. It's so cute! :)

Anyway, keep on keeping on good folks, I sure will!

Staying encouraged
Sandy

Embracing No.

In my last post, I said I wish I would embrace the word no. Well boys and girls, I've been doing just that. I love when I make the best decisions for myself with regards to my health. I feel so good about myself. So, if making healthy food choices makes me feel good about myself, then why would I choose those things that aren't so good for me? Who knows, I guess that's all a part of the struggle!

I'm exercising, drinking my water and eating on a schedule and to be honest, while my sugar cravings haven't gone away totally, I'm not as hungry when I eat on a time table. I love it. Anyway folk, I'm encouraged so I will ride this wave for as long as I can. Not that I wanna fail but I realize that I mess up sometime....

Not Giving Up. No I Won't!

I really wish it wasn't so hard. Why why why can't this be easier. Perhaps if I can embrace the word no that would help. I dunno....

I want to love me so much that no junk food will be worth eating if it stands in the way of me being a better me, a healthier me.

Each day that I am given I will begin again. I'm not going to give up. I refuse.

Day 1... Back on the Wagon (AGAIN)

Today I started working out AGAIN!

This is the story of my life and millions and trillions of others who ever tried to lose weight or do anything that will lead to a better life for that matter. I am eliminating sugar again, I am working out again, I'm on a mission to not only lose weight but to live a long healthy life again.

No matter how much a certain person tries to tell me I don't have the discipline, I am gonna keep going and not get discouraged because the reality is, is that I do have the discipline, it's all a matter of whether or not I choose to exercise it. For the past couple of months I made the choice to eat junk, I made the choice to not work out, I made those choices and now I am making the choice to get back on track and lose weight AGAIN! I will keep going at it till I do it. Again and again and again.

Stay encouraged people. You to can do it! (AGAIN!)